Legit Cookies

I'm an amazing cook. Truly I am.

I'm considering creating a cookbook so that everyone can enjoy my unique flavors. However, I'm willing to leak a few of my recipes at a time here, only because I love you.

I used to make this thing which I called "toaster cookies." I think I named it this because I put cookie dough.. well.. in a toaster. However, recently I have stepped up to legit cookies.

To make legit cookies you'll need some pre-packaged cookies, Pillsbury, Nestle, anything made in a large factory with absolutely no love and stuffed to the brim with preservatives.

Smush all the cookies together into a cookie blob, making sure not to evenly space them.

It should look something like this;

Then turn the oven on to fiery wrath-o-god heat levels. Shove the tray in and walk away to do something else. Make sure that you are thoroughly distracted, have something blaring loudly so you can ignore that annoying oven beep.

After a few hours remember you were making cookies and walk in your kitchen.

 
If you kitchen looks something like this, you're doing it right.

By the end of the process, your cookies should have a nice, ebony crust, and be undercooked unevenly at random intervals.

Enjoy your cookies.