I brought you some wine, forgive me?

I thought I was gonna come on here and explain why there's a huge fraggin gap in my posts, explain reasons for why I "am so busy", and apologized.. but then I realized you're not here for that. If you really wanna go read someone's long post about being sorry for no content, just google the word "blog" (or webcomic actually..) I assure you at least 93.6% of them will have that exact post you're looking for. Just replace their name with mine and you'll have the same feeling I: (I like how I mention how I'm not going to do that then immediately do that just by explaining how I'm not going to.)

So this post isn't entirely wasted;
Tips for wooing your lady:
Chocolate: Yummy! Turns your insides into concentrated happiness.. May result in love and kisses (☑).
Wine: Relaxing and good for the heart. May result in love and kisses (☑)
Chocolate wine? Definitely will result in Gastrointestinal stress and mild to sever cursing (☒).
asfsa

Government warning: May result in early termination of chances of you getting laid...ever.

I didn't take a sip of the thing xD but someone who drank it said it tasted fine so take this fairly lightly.